How the Enneagram Changed My Life

A Guest Blog from Bethany Fitzgerald

The Enneagram changed my life.

In 2020, while I was very pregnant with my second child and the world was entering its first COVID lockdown, my team at a Fortune 500 company went through a global restructure. I had expected my role to expand; instead, I experienced the first demotion of an otherwise successful career. 

Leadership assured me it had nothing to do with my performance—funding and people were simply moving elsewhere—but the impact was still deeply personal. I held it together on the call with HR, neutral face and steady voice, and then promptly fell apart. My ego, my identity, and my sense of safety at work were shaken. I needed help.

The coaching engagement I did not expect

Enter my first leadership coach, Claire, in the middle of my maternity leave. She was brought in to help me rebuild my confidence, reclaim my strengths, and intentionally find my next role. I expected a practical engagement: update the resume, polish the LinkedIn profile, keep moving. 

Instead, Claire invited me into much deeper inner work and gave me space to feel what I had been outrunning. Among the many conversations, tools, and practices we explored, the most profound revelation was discovering my Enneagram type and the patterns that came with it. I had always enjoyed personality assessments that gave me language for how I moved through life, but none felt as insightful or holistic as the Enneagram.

How the Enneagram revealed my patterns

Suddenly I could see the unconscious motivations driving my behaviors. 

I began to catch myself in the act of unhelpful patterns—ruminating, doubting myself, planning for the worst, and becoming overly skeptical—and choose where I wanted to spend my energy. I was also able to articulate the gifts I brought to the table: solving problems, asking good questions, focusing on the common good, being reliable, and demonstrating courage. 

Just as importantly, the Enneagram showed me where those same strengths could become shadows when they were overused or misused.

A new language for relationships

Personally, I was realizing that I had spent most of my life in my head, disregarding the wisdom of my body and heart. I began sharing the Enneagram with anyone who would listen, particularly with my partner and my parents. Once again, the Enneagram shone a light on the healthy and unhealthy dynamics of my relationships. 

Common language allowed us to increase awareness of and compassion for each other and even outgrow some unhelpful habits. My partner and I used the Enneagram to deepen our relationship and to better parent our kids. It also became a gateway to other self-discovery and growth practices and communities.  

From corporate leadership to entrepreneurship

Eventually, I began bringing my enthusiasm for the Enneagram into my workplace as a passion project, offering team engagements that helped others explore the same kind of self-awareness and improve interpersonal dynamics. Over time, the path that began in 2020 led me out of a meaningful corporate career and into entrepreneurship. 

The Enneagram changed my life because it helped me meet myself with more honesty and compassion. That is the gift I hope to keep sharing.